Tips for Creating Change (Part 2)

Dear Readers,

Here's the second part of the tips post I created in July. These mainly focus on behaviors that may be standing in your way of change and how you can put an end to them.

• Stay positive - distract yourself with something you love

When you are feeling down about not seeing the change, when you doubt yourself and the process, or when you are simply dwelling about how long it's taking, find a way to remove yourself from that negativity. For me, writing on this blog and encouraging others about pursuing their change is a way I keep myself focused on what it is I desire. I also like to occupy myself with details about my move to another country (out of necessity and excitement), dance, read a novel, or take a walk outside. Maybe what works for you is participating in a favorite sport, reading inspirational stories, or calling up a friend to talk. Whatever it is, be sure to have those activities in mind and ready to do. I like to keep a list of them attached to my laptop frame so they are at the front of my mind. If you have ever seen Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, refer back to what Violet's mother told her in the factory - "eye on the prize, Violet!" Keep your eye on the change you want to achieve, and YOU WILL ACHIEVE IT!!

• Stop checking mirrors!

This may not be true for you, but if you have a tendency to check mirrors or take pictures of yourself and feel down, STOP! This is not helpful for your mind at all, nor your body which is working hard to create the change. The more you check mirrors to see how the change is coming along, the more you are reinforcing the belief that you do not think that your appearance is changing. You have to focus on what you want - your ideal vision of yourself - not what you can see right now. Like with other things in life that you want to achieve, you have to have the outcome in mind and focus on ways to make it happen. Focusing on the way things are now and dwelling on them is only going to keep your body the way it is now. So let go of these thoughts, as hard as it may be.

If mirror-checking or photo-taking is a big problem for you, I recommend that you make it one of your primary goals right now to end this habit. Be firm with yourself, but kind. Every time you go to do the behavior, pull yourself away by thinking of your goal and how important it is to you. Remember that creating the change you seek is more important than following a bad habit, despite the temporary "high" or "satisfaction" it may bring to you. Go on in faith and confidence knowing that the change is happening, and that you do not need to prove it to yourself because you know it.

• Stop comparing yourself to others

Do you have a habit of comparing your own features to those of other people? This is another behavior you must stop if you are seeking to create a real change in your appearance. For me, back when I felt helpless and depressed about my face, I would spend hours upon hours comparing my features to those of models, friends, and celebrities. Though the first few minutes of doing this brought a strange sense of comfort and satisfaction, this was always temporary and would turn into full-blown despair and self-loathing within minutes. It was a cycle of pain that I put myself through on a daily basis. Coming into the understanding of my (and your) own power, I can't tell you of the power that this self-torture had on my me. Just know that if you are one to compare yourself to others, really put effort into stopping this negative habit. You are hurting yourself and your mind, and you are stopping your body from producing the energy needed to create a change in your appearance. You need to stay as positive and focused as you can so that the desired version of yourself can blossom into reality.

If you read Part 1 of "Tips for Creating Change", you will remember the comparison I made between changing your physical appearance and a seed blossoming into a flower. A seedling needs all the nurturing it can get so that it can break through the soil. If it's constantly moved in and out of the sun and watered only sporadically (i.e. if you frequently waver between doubt and belief, and don't keep up with doing what you can for your change), it won't bloom. Consistence is necessary for a seedling to bloom, as it for your change to come into reality. It's normal to have doubt sometimes, but you need to take responsibility to come out of it and to keep up with your practice. Perfection in your thinking isn't necessary, but you should aim to do your absolute best to keep your focus and vision.